In Love

I have fallen in love with San Antonio.

We've been here for nearly a year now. It's a good thing I like it, since Evan and I are mostly staying here for the summer. Jen came to visit, Evan taught arts camp at church, Mike came to visit, we found a house (closing date is July 30), and my parents are coming in on Sunday. We'll go to the beach for a weekend with Evan's family in July, but that will also be in Texas.

I can't imagine myself anywhere else. I grew up in the Indianapolis area, and I have a lot of fond memories from there. I'm actually writing a short story set in Indiana, and it's fun seeing how I convey the place of my childhood. But Indiana is very flat and very gray and sad in the winter. My parents don't live there anymore. Actually, other than a whirlwind night last summer on my way to California I haven't been to Indy in 3 years.

I do like the mountains of Tennessee. I like watching them smoke after a rainfall and jumping in piles of colorful leaves during the fall. I love Milligan and the professors I had. I miss places like Roan Mountain, Watauga Lake, and Cootie Brown's. I went to college, student taught, got married, and completed my first year of teaching in Tennessee. After that year of teaching, I desperately needed out. Now I think I'm finally reaching a point where I could go back and visit.

Texas offered this land of opportunity. Evan's family, his hometown. A wealth of potential jobs. A chance at something new. Maybe success. Maybe just a real place to call home. A new church. A new school. New friends. A new vision.

It's not the muddy brown riverwalk, as Mark Cuban kindly called our pride and joy here. Though I do love meandering downtown. It's not the Mexican food (yum!) or even the friendly people. Maybe it's all of these. I do miss snow and people who can pronounce the word "tour" right (my students pronounce it "tore"). Life is just a contradiction. A time to stay and a time to move on. I'm glad we moved on. I'm glad we're staying.

Self Revelation

When I'm sad, I take online personality quizzes. I took one the other day and had to laugh at my gut response to a given statement on personality.

The choices were A. Strongly Agree B. Somewhat agree C. Not sure D. Somewhat disagree E. Strongly disagree



Possible personality trait: Good at making decisions

My response: C. Not sure

Thoughts of the Day

1. I miss my mom. It sucks living in Texas when she lives in Alabama. Even though she and I drive each other crazy, she inspires me like none other.

2. I'm mad that we can't find a house and mad that looking for one has taken up so much of my summer "free" time. Actually, we have a found a number of houses--all problematic. Can't I just get a studio for my husband and a yard for my dogter? Is that so much to ask?

3. I worry about my single girl friends. Several of them seem to feel that their lives will really only truly begin when they get married. After all, they think, marriage is God's ultimate plan. They just somehow missed the boat and have to find a way to find that man and quickly. It frustrates me because there's no easy thing for me to say. I can't say it's not that bad being single. Cause I'm the lucky married one (in their eyes). I can't speak for God and what his plan is or isn't. It just frustrates me. Why can't you feel normal if you're single? Why can't we all love and support each other instead of demeaning one another?

4. I really like the writer Alice Sebold. Usually, I'm not a best seller list type person. But after reading her book Lucky (a firsthand account of her rape as a college freshmen and how it changed her life), I broke down and read The Lovely Bones in one day. Lucky is my personal favorite, but The Lovely Bones is marvelous writing. I recommend both.

5. I stopped biting my nails when I was in 9th grade. I started biting them again this year. Why now? What is my problem?

Mixed Up

I am cross-dominant. My body is mixed up about which hand to use at what time. It helps sometimes.

I tend to feel
1) Special. Lefthanders like me only make up 10% of the US population and 13% of the world population.
2) Superior. Can you navigate a computer mouse with your right hand while taking notes or eating with a fork with your left hand? Can you cut meat with the knife in your right hand and eat it with your fork in your left hand, and then not have to switch your utensils all meal long? I can definitely multi-task.

Other times I feel
3) Confused. I get confused over which hand to use when I iron clothes or cut up food. I always feel very awkward drying my hair while holding a brush. Playing pool is very awkward as well.

These are the activities I feel comfortable doing with my left hand:
1)Writing
2)Eating
3)Holding the phone against my left ear
4)Playing tennis, ping pong

And for the ones I like doing with my right hand (or foot):
1)Playing soccer, baseball, golf, basketball
2) Using scissors or knives
3)Throwing or catching anything

I'll think of more later. Whenever I try to research my quirkiness, I just find websites about firearms use. I guess my life would become even more complicated if I tried to figure out which hand to use to fire a gun.....

I really like tying my shoes bunny ears. It makes my hands feel normal:)

A Night Walk in Summer

"She wanted simply to walk out of the office, walk out and go to a movie, then buy herself a new dress. then go to the store, then buy a pack of cigarettes, then go home and put on her new dress, then walk into her backyard, barefoot, with a scotch in her hand and a pack of cigarettes, and watch the sun go down. She wanted to do all of these simple things as if she were a young teacher on the first day of summer vacation."

From In Perfect Light by Benjamin Alire Saenz (the author whose writing workshop I attended last month)


A week ago, I finished up school. It felt good. Today Evan and I took Annie on a night walk after her agility class. We just completed the initial papers to buy a house. We were walking in that very neighborhood just to get a feel for it, especially after dark. It was nice. The house is right off of a busy street, so we can hear a bit of traffic, but the street leads in a dead end that is undeveloped. We must have seen at least 8 deer in that grassy patch of land. Our house in one story, with a great room that is tiled, three bedrooms, a kitchen with new cabinets, and a garage for Evan to get messy. And Annie gets a yard. It's scary to be making this big decision. Yet we can't wait to have a home that we can paint and invite people into. A space for us to make our own. Our closing date is June 30. Time for sleep....