Hope

On days like today I think there's hope for me as a teacher.

If you know me well, you know I never planned to teach. Elementary Ed. teachers teach because they love kids. Higher grade level teachers often end up teaching because they love the subject matter. I love the subject matter.

I also like kids. I really do. But I'm often too sensitive to teach 15 year old snots. It's not that I cry in front of them. But I take things too seriously. I'm not enough of an adult.

Being homeschooled has not helped. It helped my personal education. But I'd never really dealt with many of the problems I see daily. My mom only taught 2-5 students at a time. What the heck is classroom management? I'm still learning.

I cried all last year and swore I wouldn't teach. After all, I hated it. The grading, the administration, 12 year old snots, the whole deal.

But somehow I still go in every day and teach my heart out. And come home at night and grade and plan.

Much of the time it seems the kids don't care. They want the grades but don't want to really learn.

And then yesterday I got a letter saying I had been chosen as one of the Who's Who Teachers of the Year. Mary ( a WONDERFUL sophomore) had nominated me.

And at the parent-teacher conference last night Jeff's mom said she appreciates me wanting to promote him to an honors level class next year. But really could I just make sure he gets into my class? Because don't I teach sophomores too?

And Andrea begged me to burn my Sufjin Stevens CD for her (no, honey, teachers should not break copyright rules.) and told me she thinks I would make a good mom.

Tomorrow may be frustrating. I may want to tear my hair out and work at Sonic, but no one can take away today.

And that gives me hope.