Houston in the Rain

Two weeks before Spring Break. Where has the time gone?

I am sitting at Colin and Chandra's (Evan's middle brother and sister-in-law's) house. I am sitting cross-legged staring out the window at the soft gray sky, wind-blown trees, and rain-spattered sidewalk. Annie is lying a few feet from me. Her body rises and falls as she sleeps off her hours of playtime with her cousin dog, Chester. Evan is taking a shower and preparing for a wedding today. Poor bride. The forecast says it will storm all day. The engadgement portraits have been cancelled, but Evan still has a bridal portrait, wedding ceremony, and reception to shoot.

Evan doesn't need me at this wedding since a videographer is going as well. So I will just play with dogs, maybe do schoolwork, maybe get dressed, and spend as much time with my 1 1/2 year old nephew as possible. I hadn't seen him since Christmas. He is running around and babbling up a storm. I will babysit him tonight while Colin and Chandra go to a party. I was just thinking how long it's been since I babysat a one-year-old.

The summer I was fourteen I babysat a one-year-old for the whole summer. It was for a family from my church in Carmel, Indiana. We watched the same Barney video every day. I certainly don't miss that. I do miss going out to the sidewalk with a bucket of water and a foam brush. Little Jordan would plunge his sponge (and whole hand) deep into the bucket and slather the sidewalk with cold water. Then he would watch the water dry up until it disappeared. I miss picking him up and running through the sprinkler until he shook with giggles. I miss him refusing to go to sleep because he'd rather hear me sing to him (I was practicing for my audition for a European tour with Indianapolis Children's Choir). One time, after I had gone for the day, and Jordan's mom was checking on him in his sleep, she heard him say, "Yes, Amy, yes." He was dreaming about me, his gangly, permed-haired babysitter.

I think today will be good. I love high school students. I really do. I love reading Mat's depressing song lyrics that rave about the inadequacies of the American Dream. I love hearing Michael and Andrew argue over who will get the best grade on their vocab quiz. I love seeing the relief on Mary's face when she hands in her research paper. She carries it like a fragile vase. She's afraid to breathe on it. Afraid it will catch fire and consume her hours of labor.

But I do miss the innocence of a one-year-old who doesn't understand divorce, the pressures of getting good grades and making his coach happy. Who doesn't need to be thin enough fast enough smart enough. Who can just be. Be loved for the act of living, discovering.

There is no place I'd rather be....than Houston in the rain.