A Beginning and a Middle -- Part I


First of all, if you are reading this I commend you. You didn't give up hope in me writing again someday. It's not that I didn't have things to write or the time to write them. It's just easier to not say than say most times. Which seems strange for a writer. I guess I write more without writing. Sky writing. Dream writing. It all amounts to the same thing, though.

I am afraid of finishing.

So I don't continue. Not a blog, Not writing in general. Not playing the piano. Or singing in a choir. Or wearing my mouthguard. Or reading the Bible. Or painting my toenails. Or exercising.

It's easier to say....I want to post a picture, but Apple is making me mad (don't tell Evan). Or I don't have good ideas for writing. Or I'm done with music. Or I feel like my jaw is being held together by a monster. Or I'll read it tomorrow....or the next day. Or I hate the smell of nail polish remover anyway. Or I like eating ice cream better than running:)

The truth is I miss doing something other than planning lessons and grading papers. I miss the smell of grass on a soccer field. I miss singing three-part (or seven-part) harmony. I miss knowing I'm following the dentist's orders and being nice to my teeth. I miss God. I miss pink toes. And I miss the sound of my breath....in and out....as I run. I really miss my brother and capguns and my parents and playing Boggle.

I wrote something this week that I....in all honesty....will not finish.

I will post it tonight...when Evan brings back the laptop.

And maybe I will post something cheerier too. After all, I have a lot of blogging to make up for.